I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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