D3 body, D1 cock
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
