Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
