thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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