At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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