he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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