tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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