If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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