we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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