He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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