i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
