So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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