why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
