i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize