when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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