Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize