At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
