Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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