Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
