my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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