The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
