i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
