I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
