Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize