it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
My hand turned me down
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
