I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
