yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
