no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
