My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
