So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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