I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
