Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
