Already got asked if we're dating
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
