if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
