i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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