so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
