Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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