Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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