if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
