sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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