my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
