Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
