He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
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no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
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You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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