There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
