Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just found puke in my bra..
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
