New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
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