were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
