dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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