If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
