Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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