My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize