if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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