I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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