im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
