I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
