the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My pussy is not your playground.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
