They should really pass out barf bags in church
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
