Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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