I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
