I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
