i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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