Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Randomize
