Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
