My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
