I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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